Who the fuck is Alex Sim-Wise?
Alex Sim-Wise grew up in Coventry - home of the Sky Blues and fighting - with an extensive collection of Reebok Classics that she lovingly treated like pets. At school she excelled at failure, Logo and drawing pictures of 2Pac and Mary J. Blige. She also once thought she could make the entire cast of Ghostbusters out of toilet rolls.
Alternately nicknamed ‘Spanielface’ and ‘The Bell End’ due to rather unfortunate haircuts, Sim-Wise was a smart girl with a lot to offer the world and left for the bright lights of Norwich at the age of 18, lured with offers of as much turkey ham as she could possibly eat. Whilst in that ‘fine city’ she tyrannised the local population as captain of her university cheerleading squad and generally lead her life as if it were a really bad teen movie, before being awarded a 2:1 degree in academic stealth. When modelling beckoned (after a brief foray as a Paris stripper) she was trying to shoplift a rack of lamb from ASDAs but jacked everything in to give the glamour modelling, gaming, and TV industries her all for 9 years.
After an extended period of inactivity where she gave birth to a child out of her vagina, she now lives by the sea like an old person. She is currently writing, crafting, modelling (if you can call it that), and working as a consultant helping other online sexy creators.